I may be wrong, however what i sense from you post is that you don't trust that the universe will deliver your "order". This may be for several different reasons. One is not trusting yourself, and therefore not trusting the Universe. Another is not feeling "worthy" to call out to God and the Universe. The biggest one is Fear - especially of the unknown.

Fear is paralysing and does not serve us in any way if it stops us from being able to get on with our lives and do/get/have what we want and need to do in life. Fear itself is always much greater and worse than the actual outcome. Whatever your fears are around being able to create your own reality, i suggest you explore what these fears are, acknowledge their existence and thank them for serving a purpose in your life until Now, then surrender the fear to the Universe, and open yourself to replacing that fear with curiousity, love, excitement and a passion for Life!

Ask the universe to take your fears about trusting it, and to replace the fear with love and gratitude in knowing that whatever reality you create has been a co-creation with God (or Creator/Source, whatever you label it as), as God is omnipresent and therefore within You always. Your thoughts are the seeds of manifestation. Everything that has been created started as a thought, a vision.

Thoughts are things, and become more complex ideas. ideas initiate brainstorming, and brainstorming brings clarity as to what one does and doesnt want. the clearer you are about what you desire, the better chance you have of manifesting that thought into reality. Once you have a clear vision of the end result, and you WANT and DESIRE the outcome greatly enough, your brain will find a way to get you there.

So whatever state your life is currently, know this is what you have previously ordered, perhaps subconsciously. This is why it is so important to take control of our minds, and learn to control and use its power for the Greater Good (ecology)of ourselves, others and the Universe. Ecology is very important, and if you keep this in mind, and have ecological and pure intentions, you cannot make a "mistake" by asking for the "wrong things". If we don't have control of our minds, fear can set in and run amuck, wreaking havoc on our emotions, and in turn our bodies and well being. Mind mastery is a choice to be at Cause, instead of Effect in terms of what happens to us. In other words You control the situations you're in, rather than the situation directing your mind and how you feel. Choosing to be at Cause is empowering. This includes having Faith in ourselves and trusting that the universe will present us with experiences and challenges which will enable us to learn and grow.

Just learn to trust the Universe... it is All-Knowing, Ecological and Miraculous... have perfect love and perfect trust in it, and this openness to the universe will enable a new world of understanding and learnings. It is amazing what Magic Happens when you learn to trust... =)

~Sending Love & Light All-Ways~

*~*PsychicK*~*